Friday, May 27, 2005

I Woke Up Today

...So, that was nice.

What made it even better was that, when I rolled out of bed (by all accounts the time was nearing eleven), Jerry Springer was on. Now, I know it is just a little thing, but it was nice. The only daytime talk shows we get in the mountains are Montel and some overly sensitive rabble like Ellen, or Tony Danza--who recently attempted suicide using a go-cart...apparently he is twelve.

Of course, we all know that Springer is totally made up, but who cares!? Although, at this point the competition for exposing the dregs of society is getting pretty tight between the former politician from Ohio and the local news. I think if it didn't happen with in my actual neighborhood I don't really need to hear about bad things that happen to other people. Okay, maybe if it happened to a member of my family, but I would hear about that through the proper channels anyway.

The fact is that I do not need to know about the guy in Atlanta perched on a crane. I hope he slips, falls and hurts himself severely, but does not die. He deserves it for wasting my time. In fact I hope he develops a limp that never goes away. Actually, I hope he falls on a news person while he is at it. I just re-read an awesome article by Donna Deliva where she totally went off on reporters, among other things, it is a very good article and can be found in Vice magazine's "Bullshit" issue. Look it up.

I think that is all I really want to write about right now, except to send props out to all the people who have done things around me in the past that have provided me with continuing amusement inside my head while I am physically enduring great deals of boredom or tedium. So, right now, props go out to:

Lindsay, from Shakespeare class, who decided that she was periodically going to have an "AWESOME TIME". I laugh a lot at that in my head.

Chuck Norris for being so dedicated to a super shitty acting career that any mention of the names Chuck, or Norris, leads me to a good chuckle. Thanks.

That's all for now, but as I remember random funny stuff from my head, I will keep putting them here where you have to read them (butsecretlydeepdownyoulikeit).

-A.R. Leith

Quote (And future title of a book I will write): from Jon Stewart's Naked Pictures of Famous People - "P.S. My vagina is a mess."

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Sweet Home Chicago

Okay, this is going to be brief. I just want to run down what's going on in life of late, to kind of catch up so that in the near future I can tackle some other subjects. Werd.

I'm in Chicago for the summer right now, and things are cooler by the lake. That's about all there is to say about that, except that everything is much farther from my house here. I was going through gas like crazy until I realized that my friends houses were sometimes like 30 miles away. In the D town the longest drive I have is the six miles to work once a day. Goddamnit! It's okay though because petrol is way cheaper here. And there is public transportation. So that's nice.

(This next statement has very little to do with the girls I know in durango, because I only associate with attractive people, as a general rule, but...) There are so many fine looking women around here that it's effi'n amazing. Everywhere you turn there seems to be a cute girl. That being said, "There are a million fine looking women in the world, but they won't all bring you lasagna at work." Meaning; it is all well and good to look nice, but there has to be some substance behind the glossy exterior. It is the content that really matters in the end...because we all get pruny and gross and stretched out in weird places as we get older, but what's inside stays the same.

Okay, that's all for now. I'm going to the cubs game tonight, so that should be fun. Talk to you all in the near immediate future.

-A.R. Leith

Quote- "In my perfect world, I'd be assigned a perfect girl. The million kisses." - Jawbreaker

Sunday, May 08, 2005


I have been getting a lot of these "inside the nose" pimples. I don't know if anybody really knows what I'm talking about--or has had the misfortune of actually experiencing one of these gems--but they hurt like the dickens and are virtually impossible to lance. Last week there was one in my left nostril, and now there is one in the right. Thankfully they are not coinciding which would probably drive me up the wall. No, the left has dissipated, but the right rages on. I don't really know why I'm telling anyone about this, but the information is now out there, and you have to deal with the repercussions of having it. Ha!

So, I've been thinking about lifestyles lately. Not in the grand sense of what gender you prefer, or if you might be a ladykiller rather than a shy everyman. No, these thoughts have been of the utterly domestic order. As previously mentioned I will soon be returning to the suburbs from my current rural mountain home. The change will not only be in denseness of living, altitude, climate, etc. But it will also mark a movement from "college" living to a much more civilized style of home. I see nothing wrong with this change, other than that it makes me think about all the niceties that I--being a struggling student--cannot afford myself.

I generally feel much more comfortable in a clean, well organized, well decorated home. These, however, are luxuries that I do not currently have because of a lack of time and funds. Sometimes I feel like a slacker because I do not have money to throw around on home furnishings and the like. But then I think about some of the residents of my family and friends as they went through college and do not feel so bad. At the very least there are no holes between floors of my residence. So that's something.

Overall I think there is just a desire within me to achieve, to succeed. And that is what all this schooling is for. (Although my time spent on higher education has severely overstepped the bounds of normalcy.) The fact is that someday I will be able to attain all these things that I really want out of life, and I should spend more time focusing on the here and now, enjoying this time for what it is rather than what it is not. So I'm going to go get started on that now...or at least when I get up in the morning. If anybody wants to hang out and do something crazy with me, they should give me a call, or drop me an emial. Laters.

-A.R. Leith

New quote, because Reggie is tired of repeats:
"If you have a brain and use it too, you've got to know that I've got a crush on you."- Magnified Plaid

Friday, May 06, 2005

In A Haze

Of late I have been wandering around in an almost complete daze. It is due, I suppose, to the combination of an awful allergy season and the uncertainty of life.

Not that life is ever really that uncertain. I dislike uncertainty--try to avoid it at all costs. I like to know, to be sure of what is going on around me. What has happened, what will happen, and what is happening. Not knowing makes me self conscious and shy. I prefer to be confident and gregarious. At the source:

Soon I will be moving home for several months. I look forward to this change of pace a great deal. However, at this point it has been so long since I've actually lived there that it has morphed into a situation that is "new", so to speak. I'm nervous about what will go on while I'm there. Who will I hang out with? What will I deem "fun"? All of that sort of stuff. It should be a good time, no doubt, but right now it is just a looming bump in the otherwise uninterrupted normalcy of my life.

For the past four years my life has gone Spring: done skiing go golfing finish school, Summer: take some school work at golf course drink too much, Autumn: stop golfing start thinking about skiing go back to school, Winter: ski too much work too much drink too much study too much stress out. That's it. Every year I have known what was coming next...or at least what was supposed to come next. This year there is a monkey wrench in the works and it is creating excitement. I'm not sure that I like excitement.

I've grown complacent in life. I'm comfortably in a rut. I live in a town of roughly 36,000 people, two thirds of whom I either do not know or do not care for. As for the other third, they are good people. There's a nice, familial, feel to knowing the people in your neighborhood. But, it does breed inaction. When everything is good and comfortable a person is generally loathe to change it. Perhaps this is why I have thrown myself a curve ball this summer. I have no doubts that everything (both with this summer, and with life in general) will turn out for the better.

The other problem is a lack of people in my life, currently, who are okay with doing nothing, all day long. Perhaps it is a symptom of growing older, but it seems that everyone is just too busy these days. There was a time when there were people whom you did stuff with. It didn't matter what you did as long as the people you were doing it with were fun. Those days seem to have gone by the wayside. I know that at this point I have stopped flogging the dead horse and am now kicking it in the teeth and giving it an elbow drop, but could it be that what I want most from a woman--from a girlfriend--is someone who just wants to hang out with me all the time, and who I likewise want to spend time with. It doesn't matter if you're going shopping at Wal-Mart at three in the morning, or just wandering around the town for shits and giggles, it's nice to have someone along with a good sense of humor. But alas I have digressed. I'm done now. Check back later for more.

-A.R. Leith

Two Quotes to End it:
"Assign me to a nice she can ruin me, eternally."- Jawbreaker

"There's no telling what you can learn, by taking your pants off."- !!!

Monday, May 02, 2005

And Then...

...We All Bought Towels.

It's been a while, yeah?

So the semester is over. Vegas was visited, and we all bought towels. I understand that it has been a while since I have updated what--I'm sure--is everyone's favorite web site. And, indeed, there have been quite a few things on my mind since we last spoke. So here they go, in no particular order:

1. I woke up the other day to go to work. Not a stunning feat all on it's own, but there's more... While I was eating oatmeal and waiting for my car to warm up. (Just in case any of you DON'T know, young Vicky is a very finicky lady.) While this was going on I decided to edify myself with a little bit of television. And what should I happen to catch but the climactic soliloquy from the film adaptation of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead. If you have neither seen, nor read, this little gem I would suggest it to all. As the story goes, there is a young architect who refuses to compromise his style and ideas to the modern will and whimsy. The message that has so endeared this book to me is that of personal achievement and accountability. I believe that everyone [every adult] is, or should be, responsible for themselves. This includes the notion that those who can and do achieve should be held accountable because others have not. Could multinational conglomerates exploit the workers in foreign lands if they could find no willing workers--at any cost--in those countries? Probably not. Is personal achievement different from greed? I think so. Especially where The Fountainhead is concerned, in that the message is not about acquisition of wealth, but rather not being willing to give up your beliefs simply because someone else tries to force you to. I think that people should be able to believe and behave how they desire, so long as it does not hurt another person. Which brings us to a second question...

2. I was at a sort of dinner party last night where the game of Scatergories was being played. I was a willing participant in the game and enjoying myself when a moral question was raised. the clue was "Things that jump/bounce" the letter was "R", and my answer was "Retarded Kids". A question was raised concerning the propriety of this answer. To be frank, one of the other contestants suggested that I be denied the point, not because--in this case--the word "retarded" is an adjective and therefore modifies the noun, "kids", but rather because my answer was thought to be "tacky". At the time I thought it best not to create a row and did not make an issue of the refused point. However, upon further review I began to wonder... Is it more "tacky" (a word that I hate because somehow it never fails to remind me of Joan Rivers) to refer to these mentally disabled people in the context of things that jump and/or bounce, which indeed they do, or to assume that they are somehow lesser beings, in need of protection from life and "name calling"? So many groups who are somehow seen as "different" wish only to be treated as equals in the human race. That being the case, should punches be pulled because someone is "differently abled", or should you treat them in the same way you might treat anyone else that you deal with on a day to day basis? I kind of suspect that it is the same type of person who desires that someone with a developmental disability should be treated with kid gloves (in other words, not as an equal, but as someone to be sheltered, protected, or otherwise made to feel different) and also recoils from homeless persons in horror. Now, maybe it was a bit gauche for me to use that particular modifier in a board game, but it did bring to light the broader philosophical question of whether treating people differently helps or hurts in the end. For me, the jury is still out, but I do lean towards treating everyone the same, regardless of who they are. It may be cruel, but it might also be the only fair way to do business.

Okay, that is all for right now, because I am tired, but there will be more shortly, I assure you. Because, summer is here, and I'll have to vent somewhere. Ta Da!

-A.R. Leith