Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Strictly Speaking...

Some of the things that were said in today's earlier post were inaccurate. The stuff about people giving all negative response to what I write...or at least only negative encouragement, I meant that. The part about having nothing to say...that's not so true.

Today as I was wandering around the parking lot at the ol' Fort Lewis (Fort Leisure if you will...) I noticed that the car parked immediately in front of mine was sporting some rather interesting decals. They read--in descending order of height on the car--"Carnegie-Mellon", "Northwestern", and "Harvard"... What theeee FUCK!?

Now, I'm not one to bag on the institution that is going to give me my means of recognition in the world outside of academia, but we all know about the Fort. If you are not in-the-know let me give you a run-down. Fort Lewis is a "liberal arts college on the New England model" that is basically a fancy-pants way of saying that we don't give a shit about anything except the happy little trees and the whales in the sea. If you have a pulse and a means of paying the bill you are going to do just fine here at Colorado's Campus in the Sky...

Anyway, here's my gripe. Does this person expect us to believe that they attended not one, not two, but all three of these schools BEFORE coming to the Fort in ANY capacity? I just don't think that could be the case. So the next theory is that this is the car of a person who is sibling to persons attending these prestigious schools. In which case, why would you want that constant reminder in your back window that you are at a school that is probably pretty lax, even on that "pulse" thing we just talked about.

However, as I am writing all of this I find myself faced with a third, reasonably plausible, possibility. In fact it is a nice possibility that I will hence forth hope is the truth. Perhaps this economically reasonable ride was the property of a faculty member--or even an older student--who is the parent of children at such fancy-pants schools. If that is the case, as I hope it is, they have every right to be proud. They and their significant other should be giving each other the hi-fives (even though they are frowned upon in other situations I feel they might just be warranted here) after coitus for producing such excellent offspring.

And that, my friends, is why boxed wine is never really a good idea...

-A.R. Leith

Other Quote: "If you are going to do it half-assed, don't fucking do it at all."- the Tossers

Earlier Today...

While walking between classes today I thought of an excellent blog topic. But since then I have forgotten what it was. So I guess that's too bad, isn't it.

I would like to mention how cute I think it is that people are so quick to pester me to write new things when I haven't posted for a while, but that nobody really wants to make any comments on what has been written. I was kind of hoping, when I started this whole thing, to open up channels of dialogue for people to discuss topics of the day. It has not worked out that way, however. Instead I receive death threats for not offering entertainment for people. It is like everyone is saying "Dance, you funny little monkey, dance for our entertainment..." with nothing really offered in return. It is not easy to perform on command, but evidently people want it to happen, no matter what. So that's fun. Especially when I ask for topic suggestions so that I have SOMETHING to write about and NOBODY comes through....thanks guys.

-A.R. Leith

Quote: "Maybe I don't know. But probably not."- Big D and the Kid's Table