Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Strictly Speaking...

Some of the things that were said in today's earlier post were inaccurate. The stuff about people giving all negative response to what I write...or at least only negative encouragement, I meant that. The part about having nothing to say...that's not so true.

Today as I was wandering around the parking lot at the ol' Fort Lewis (Fort Leisure if you will...) I noticed that the car parked immediately in front of mine was sporting some rather interesting decals. They read--in descending order of height on the car--"Carnegie-Mellon", "Northwestern", and "Harvard"... What theeee FUCK!?

Now, I'm not one to bag on the institution that is going to give me my means of recognition in the world outside of academia, but we all know about the Fort. If you are not in-the-know let me give you a run-down. Fort Lewis is a "liberal arts college on the New England model" that is basically a fancy-pants way of saying that we don't give a shit about anything except the happy little trees and the whales in the sea. If you have a pulse and a means of paying the bill you are going to do just fine here at Colorado's Campus in the Sky...

Anyway, here's my gripe. Does this person expect us to believe that they attended not one, not two, but all three of these schools BEFORE coming to the Fort in ANY capacity? I just don't think that could be the case. So the next theory is that this is the car of a person who is sibling to persons attending these prestigious schools. In which case, why would you want that constant reminder in your back window that you are at a school that is probably pretty lax, even on that "pulse" thing we just talked about.

However, as I am writing all of this I find myself faced with a third, reasonably plausible, possibility. In fact it is a nice possibility that I will hence forth hope is the truth. Perhaps this economically reasonable ride was the property of a faculty member--or even an older student--who is the parent of children at such fancy-pants schools. If that is the case, as I hope it is, they have every right to be proud. They and their significant other should be giving each other the hi-fives (even though they are frowned upon in other situations I feel they might just be warranted here) after coitus for producing such excellent offspring.

And that, my friends, is why boxed wine is never really a good idea...

-A.R. Leith

Other Quote: "If you are going to do it half-assed, don't fucking do it at all."- the Tossers

3 comments:

ahh, the limanity said...

Wow, Harvard, Carnigie-Mellon and Northwestern? 3 very highly respected schools. The only question I am left with is this: why must the name of the school spark how smart a person has to be to attend? Personally, anyone who makes the insane and multi-year (usually more then 4) decision to attend college should gain the same respect. Now, finding a job and earning those highly overrated "benjamins" is another story. Sure, if I want to have no sense of personal direction and fall victim to some fortune 500 company's ideas of how their employees must live-work (living to work is the american way, right?) then I would gladly do everything in my power to attend, say, Vanderbilt or Harvard. BUT, who am I to pass judgement on a person's choice of secondary education? Maybe I should reconsider being so openly opinionated when I have yet to reach that damn point in my life where I can toss that tassle from one side to the other, again!

T-dizzle said...

I'm pretty sure that I have seen the car you speak of. It actually started a converstion with a friend of mine and we were trying to figure out what type of person it was that drove the car. Basically we went through all of the scenarios that you have just covered but we had one to add to your list. Perhaps the person only knows someone that attended these institutions, or maybe they visited these places, and for some strange reason they think that putting stickers on their car will make them seem like a more interesting person. It seems to me that it is almost the same as wearing a sweatshirt that says Harvard on it. But what do I know.
I'd also like to say that even though you might get some negative comments or comments requesting you write more be happy that you get comments. I don't. I think that is because I don't really have anything to say....you do however and I'm happy to see a new post from time to time. Luv ya!

Amanda K said...

So, hey, Andy?
Are we allowed to complain after it's been more than a month since you've posted? Just curious.