Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Everybody and Their Sister

It would seem that everybody and their sister is getting involved in this myspace business. Everyone tells me that I should join and "become part of the community" but all it really seems like to me is an online circle-jerk of people congratulating eachother on being able to take the digital photo and put it into cyber-space. (Do people even really call it 'cyber-space' anymore? Is that too passe? Does it date me?) Myspace is Latin, I believe, for "I have entirely too much free time and would probably be put to better use as a construction flagger or a ground troop in one of the many on-going military thingies in which the good ol' U.S. of A. is currently embroiled. Whatever the reason for the hullabaloo, I just don't know how many pictures of other people having fun I want to look at while trying to make it through college and a full time job. But that is not really why I came on here today...

What I would like to tell you fine people about is the phenomenon I would like to call over-achieving at the gym. I have recently embarked on a program/resolution fulfillment plan that involves me losing a good deal of weight by graduation. In order to do this I have started going to the gym on a daily basis. Granted, it has only been two days so far but that still counts as a daily basis then, doesn't it--look it up. So I got the bright idea to go to the gym before work on this Monday last. How is it possible that every piece of machinery at the gym is occupied at five-forty-five in the goddamn morning? I thought I was being so sly by going at an off hour. Apparently the fact that there is only one real gym in town and it is woefully undersized for the number of "fitness nuts" in this little mountain village. Tomorrow I am going to try in the evening and see if it isn't a little better. I think the place should be open 24 hours a day, but that wouldn't stand in a town where the only thing to do after nine p.m. is to get drunk...so we've got that going for us, which is nice.

Here's the other problem I have with going to the gym: In order to get my heart rate up and burn the fatty tissue that I am so desirous of being rid of I have decided to ride the exercise bicycle. However, on the bicycle that has the cushy seat--not the one that you sit down in like a chair, or the super-agro lemond with the tiny seat--when I ride for too long my junk falls asleep. It is not an altogether unpleasant sensation, except for the fact that I have to keep looking down to make sure I am not "aroused" in a very public way. There is just no feeling at all down there. It is altogether strange.

Okay, I think that is about all for now, other than the fact that I am considering building a house in the Yukon in which to live and stay away from people who bug me. More on people who bug me in the next blog...

-A.R. Leith

"Life should be made as difficult as possible so that the victims might learn something in the effort." -Hunter S. Thompson


Marie said...

Great quote. I agree entirely.

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