Wednesday, July 20, 2011

18 (or so) Questions I Have After Seeing the Last Harry Potter Movie

1. How is it that Hermione didn't end up as a professor at Hogwarts? It seems right up her alley.
1b. In fact why are none of them employed at the school?
1c. The "greatest wizard in the world" isn't a shoe-in for the Headmaster job? (Or at least Defense Against the Dark Arts?)
1d. If they don't work at the wizard school, what do all these witches and wizards do when there isn't a war on? Are they all baristas and bookstore clerks?
2. So, Snape is Harry's real dad?
3. Also, isn't it a bit convenient that the bad guy's right-hand-man has dedicated his life to protecting the hero?
4. Why didn't Harry die when Voldemort shot him with his wand-laser?
5. If you can just "decide" that you don't want to be dead and come back, why isn't everyone doing it?
5b. I mean, if the most powerful evil wizard kills you, shouldn't you stay dead?
5c. If not, how is he really SO powerful? (Assuming he wasn't using the "Only-kill-the-little-bit-of-me-that-is-inside-this-boy" spell--which, who would even practice that enough to know it well just in case it came in handy?)
6. What's with all the running, wizards can fly, right? (I'd be the laziest wizard ever...)
7. Can wizards get drunk? (I just see "19 Years Later" Ron sitting at a bar a little shitty waving a wand around yelling "Expectum Coronas!")
8. Ron really let himself go, didn't he?
9. Did Malfoy end up being kind of a good guy, or just not a very good bad guy?
10. There were owls at the end of the movie. I thought they killed all the magic owls in DHP1, didn't they?
11. Shouldn't the last movie have been called Neville Longbottom and the Time He Saved Everyone's Asses?
12. Is there a wizard college, because there is no way you're getting through Cambridge just knowing spells and enchantments? You've got to know some math and composition and stuff, right?
12b. Or can wizards just "wand-whip" themselves up a diploma so they can get a job in the private sector?
13. If Dumbledore had possession of all the things that made up the "Deathly Hallows" does that mean that he is Death?
13b. If he is not, how did he get them away from Death?
14. It was obvious to everybody that the other Dumbledore brother was still Michael Gambon, right?
15. Why don't we think it is weird that both girls who played Nanny McPhee are in this movie?
16. Are all British movies not directed by Guy Richie (And hey, some that are directed by him...) about magic now?
13c. (I forgot something) Couldn't Dumbledore have figured out a way to get all this done without having to die? It just doesn't seem that bright, is all.
13d. (sorry for encroaching like this #16) Like, what about just giving the wand and all the other junk to Harry, and telling him where all the stuff was to destroy?
17. I'll bet Voldemort snores a ton, on account of the messed up nose, wouldn't you think?
18. Why don't they mention the Potters' other son who is going off to school at the end of the movie?
18b. At what age do kids go off to Hogwarts, again?
18c. Because I thought it was like age 10 or 13 or something, but that means that Harry and Jenny waited almost a decade to start having kids...what were they doing all that time? (Which brings up a whole slew of questions about wizard procreation that I'm not even going to get into, because I had a tough enough time with the details of "The Golden Compass" to even mess with this.

Alright, those are the questions I can think of now, so please let me know if you are able to answer some or all of them. K THX BYE.

-A.R. Leith


Larakin said...

1) I agree.
1b. Good point, but Harry really wanted to be an Aura, they don't show that much in the movies.
1c. Agreed, and that is where I though he as going throughout the books.
1d. pretty much, or they all end up working for the Ministry of Magic. Damn gov'mnt jobs
2. No, he was just so madly in love with Lilly that he had to help Harry
3. Very, but it did add drama, is he good or evil
4. Im still not sure on that. I assume some sort of "magical backfire" due to the connection between them. Or same as the first time he survived, the love of his mom saved him, this time it was the love of those he brought back with the resurrection stone.
5. It makes for a better story?
5b. You would think right? but it is not certain the killing spells actually worked on him.
5c. yes, and he is willing to use dark magic.
6. Death eaters can fly, wizards have to use a broom.
7. Yes, in fact "butter beer" supposedly has alcohol.
8. yes, it seems so.
9. I think he went good. Dumbledore makes it a point that his soul is still unharmed because he didn't kill him.
10. I never heard/saw that. I think they just killed hedwig.
11. yes, but he does have a book called "How to successfully survive puberty"
12. they do have those classes at hogworts, they are just boring.
12b. its called politics.
13. I dont think he had them all at once.. he gave the cloak to harry. but if he did, It was is good nature to not use that power.
13b. Ther is a lot of history of the hallows in the book, how they passed from wizard to wizard.
14. I wasnt...
15. what is Nanny McPhee?
16. um sure Andy...
13c. it would have not been as good a story.
13d. Dumbledore didnt know what/where all the other hallows were.
17. Probably.
18. Time contraints. they do in the book, as well as all the Weasly kids, and the Malfoy family, and I think even Nevel Longbottom and Luna.
18b. 11
18c. What would you do if you just saved the world?

Katie Maloney said...

I think it is Auror, not aura. Also, I don't think dumbledor gave him the cloak.

Larakin said...

Thats right it is Auror, thanks. The cloak was James Potters, but Dumbledore had it when he died (he was investigating the hallows), so he held it and gave it to Harry when he went to school that first year.

B Webb said...

Gambon was definitely playing a dual role.
Harry and Jenny, at the earliest, had baby #1 at age 24 & 23, respectively. (19 years later means Harry is 36 and Jenny 35. Middle child is now 11, birthing when they were 25/24. Older child at least 12/in year 2 at Hogwarts, putting Harry and Jenny at 24 and 23. Or younger if their oldest is older. I did this math in my head while re-reading the book earlier this summer. Glad to see I'm not the only weirdo thinking about how old they got before having sex with procreation as an end game. Speaking of having kids, congrats new father).

Anonymous said...

Y u so gay?

Anonymous said...

Ya y r u so gay?