Okay, it occurs to me that simply listing the things that I find desirable in a woman are not really enough. For one thing, there is a good possibility that what I view as fulfilling those qualifications are not necessarily the same as what others might think qualify. So here's a more in depth look at why I'm nearly always single:
Funny- There are a lot of funny people out in the world. However, there is such a variety of funny that it boggles the mind. The kind of funny that I enjoy has to do with A: a woman who "laughs at my dumb jokes when no one does". B: a woman who makes me laugh. There are a lot of people out there who laugh at things that I say...mostly nervous laughter, because they don't know how else to react to some of the things that come out of my mouth, but laughter none the less. But rare is the woman who makes me laugh. I find (and this may not be true, it's just what I think) that many women are too caught up worrying to be able to laugh and see the humor in life. Anybody can laugh at other people--the key to a grrrreat sense of humor is to be able to laugh at the world and, more importantly, at themselves. The perfect test, as it turns out, is if a lady says something mean to you simply respond by saying, "Whatever, you're fat." A gal with a truly great sense of humor will realize that you are joking and laugh. Everybody has flaws, and being able to laugh at our own is the best thing ever. (p.s.- don't ever try this with a girl who actually is fat or you might end up as one half of an ugly murder-suicide...and nobody wants that.)
Intelligent- This one kind of explains itself, so I will only ad that getting good grades in school is only part of it. One must be objective, but remain passionate. Meaning, that you have to be able to understand both sides of an argument before you can pick one. Arguing or holding beliefs based strictly on passion OR objectivity is a dangerous and shortsighted thing. Someone who can do both is a diamond in the rough. Also, in correlation to the above, a girl must be unafraid to tell me when something is un-funny, or stupid. Don't just laugh because something has been said that is odd. If it's not really funny, speak up.
Stylish- Be able to dress for any occasion. If a woman knows what is proper attire for any occasion and has the wardrobe to back it up, that's perfect. That's all there really is to it. Otherwise if you are confident and fun you can pull pretty much anything off. Girls are good like that.
Crass- This goes with the bit about having a good sense of humor. Stupid (silly stupid, not ignorant stupid) things are funny too--don't act like you're too mature to laugh at something random. Acting too good for everything makes people come off as stuck up, and no fun at all. And who wants to hang out with people who are no fun...THAT'S RIGHT, other people who are no fun. Try and keep yourselves out of this group. The list of stupid things that are funny includes, bodily fluids, farts, boobs, butts, people falling down, head injuries (limited mostly to self-inflicted wounds), people who take themselves too seriously, etc. Stay away from these things, but feel free to point and laugh from a distance.
Cute- This is pretty much up to me, except to say that cute is way better than hott. Hott girls are usually too much work and not enough fun to be around, while cute girls are the kind of people who you can hang out with all day and never get tired of. That's just science.
So that's the rundown on the roadmap to my heart. Hopefully somebody worthwhile will find it. But I'm not holding my breath or anything. I do believe in love, I just don't think it is as easy as some people let it be...and that's why there are so many divorces these days.
Okay, I had some random stuff I was going to talk about, but I cannot remember what it is. But that's life, right. I'm getting old. We're all dying. More later.
Quote: "I swear I more than half believe it when I say 'somewhere love and justice shine.'" -the weakerthans