Giving up on trying...

...to blow people's minds.

See, did that statement "blow your mind"? Of course, it didn't.

Today I was getting ready for my first class, and I saw a young man with--with an overly tall beanie on, no less--preparing a powerpoint presentation on a lab computer. It was weird; mostly because it was as if I could actually read his mind. I looked at him, and then at the screen, and automatically the thought that popped into my mind was the voice of a hippie/stoner saying, "Man, this is totally going to BLOW THEIR MINDS!" He also had headphones, a dull stare, and a pen hanging out of his mouth in the manner of a cigarette...but those are all neither here nor there. The point is that it got me to thinking about people having their minds blown, and why it just isn't happening anymore:

I am pretty sure that it is a scientific fact that people stopped having their minds blown sometime in the late sixties/early seventies. There may have been a few holdover flower children who had blowings of the mind on into the early nineties, but that is because their drug addled brains still thought it was the sixties and were actually being amazed by things that had happened before but that they could not remember having happened. The point is that people just aren't surprised anymore. At least not in any sort of life-altering way.

Let's just say that the only people that still believe that minds may be "blown" are probably idealistic high-school or college kids who have probably just read a book (Fast Food Nation, No Logo, Walden, anything by Chomsky or Zinn, something about zen Buddhism, etc.) and are now in a position to write a report or give a presentation in which they can incorporate their new nuggets of knowledge. To these young people the world is blind, but needs only have it's eyes opened to what is really going on--and they are going to do exactly that.

Problem is, that most people are not blind. It turns out that a good many people have a good deal of knowledge, they just don't care. So when a wet-behind-the-ears undergrad finishes their presentation on capitalistic greed and American imperialism with a flourish that suggests that the word "voila" should probably have been used they are met with the dull stare of a crowd that intones, "Duh, but how does that effect my new station wagon and three bedroom in the suburbs." People already know that the world sucks. The world DOES suck. It would seem, then, that it is simply the hope of most people that the suckiness of the world will just stay put in countries who's names cannot be pronounced and who's locations remain a mystery, other than to say that they are "over there". The new apathy is one that assumes that the world is going to suck--no matter what. And, as long as that sucking is as far away as possible I can ignore it and everything will be okay.

I have come to terms with my apathy about the "new apathy". It is sort of an "if they don't care, why should anyone care" situation. Yeah, I understand that there are undernourished people working 80 hour weeks for a pittance in the third world, but seriously, that's their problem. Personally, I'd probably rather turn to a life of crime than work in a factory making things I cannot afford. I can't understand why other people do that. In fact, I don't think that they should do it. Sure, there should be a sense of community in the world, but how did it happen that people stopped being accountable for their own shit?

In the book Catch 22, Joseph Heller suggests that "they can do anything that we cannot stop them from doing." That is one (of many) of the catches in life that the book covers. As it applies to the global economy; of course companies are going to look out for themselves and try to maximize their profit, that's the nature of capitalism. Your job is to have the same attitude about yourself. Think of yourself as a company that must get the most profit possible for the product given. Companies will treat you like shit if you let them. However, if enough people refuse to be treated like shit the balance of power will shift, and the corporation will have to meet demands or suffer from having no work force.

I know this all sounds good in theory, and will be much harder to implement in real life, but when was anything worthwhile ever easy to attain? Everyone should watch their own ass. Of course you can help out your friends and neighbors, but try not to do so at the expense of your own health and happiness. It is up to everyone to not just "let things slide". If you do not expect the best, you will not be given the best. People who go through life super happy just have low expectations...of others, and of themselves.

This is not an essay aimed at getting people to stop trying to blow the minds of others...simply a series of ideas that might help people realize that they are responsible for their own well being before that of others. Raise your standards for the sake of a better life. A good deal of the time you will get exactly what you expect out of life, so start expecting more.

-A.R. Leith

"They're going to try and make you a martyr. They'll keep on pushing 'til you're pushing back harder."- The Dillinger Four.

Snow

Basically it was pointed out to me this morning that my job choices both revolve around the weather. Today it is snowing. If I were still at my winter job I'd probably have wood...but as it is I'm working at a golf course and am pretty much unemployed until the shit melts. So what gives with that. All it leaves me with is these afternoons where all I have to do is sit around fostering one of two thoughts...

One: Someday I might have money...either from working very, very hard, and saving it all so I can give it to somebody else later in life, or through some lottery route. Either way I generally turn on golf or baseball or something and think about architecture until I fall asleep on the couch and miss a bunch of phone calls that would invite me to do something that could be fun. It sucks, except now I have a ton of house designs built up in my head...which on second thought is about as useful as a handful of wishes. So it's not all that productive. I'll try to stop doing it. Which would be easier if I wasn't depressed and sick with mono. (Clinically I don't know if either of those statements is true, but they are my informed guess.)

Two: Similar situation, except rather than architecture it's about women. I'm going to go ahead and lay it down here. (Actually this happens all the time, walking, driving, sitting in class, open heart surgery, skydiving, anytime these thoughts about girls just pop into my head.) The point is this. There have been five women that I have known in my life that could have been THE ONE...so there are many ones. The point here is that I'm picky as hell, and cannot find the right girl for me. I have only ever dated one of these five, and it ended badly, but that's life, right? The others have not worked out for a myriad of reasons. Not least notably of which is that I often fail to talk to them and tell them how I feel about them. Yeah, it's my fault, but I fear rejection.

It also doesn't help that I spend a lot of the time listening to the emo. It makes me sad about girls and fear the worst. Right now I'm pining for number five and dunno what to do about it. I wish there were a better way to find out if someone else was interested in you. I've just read an article about it and I'm going to try to put some of those techniques to use, but who knows where that will lead. Strangely women that I find attractive are among the very few things that really scare me about life. I guess I'm just a pussy.

In the past I have mentioned the five things that I look for in a women...I thought of more today, but mostly that come later in relationships. Like gregariousness. (or even knowing what that word means...that'd be a good start.) But yeah, I'm shy and quiet--until I get to know a person or group of people, that is--and so it would be nice if I could date someone who is more outgoing than me. Subconsciously I think that is a reason I like for a girl to make her intentions known first. But that doesn't always work out. And as we all know- "Life sucks, get a fucking helmet."

Okay, back to the snow at hand. I'm over winter. This year sucked because I couldn't ski with the kids. I hate skiing by myself. In fact, I hate doing pretty much everything my myself...so I'm looking forward to summer. That's about all there is of that.

Totally off subject: I was half asleep on the couch the other day when I had this dream/vision/whatever of this girl from one of my classes just coming over and laying on top of me and we both fell asleep. Not necessarily sexual, but very nice indeed. I don't know what to make of it all. Life is weird. I'm tired of typing now, I'm going to read more. Wish me luck on everything, I'm going to need it.

-A.R. Leith

"Assign me to a nice girl, so she can ruin me...eternally."- Jawbreaker

"I went to college, and Guess what I learned...

So lately I have songs stuck in my head. Okay, I shouldn't qualify that with "lately"...I always have songs stuck in my head. The weird part is that all the songs that have been stuck in there lately are about how bad the world sucks. You know, war, pestilence, girls, plagues, parents, and the man--they're all down on us, and with no good reason...man!

So yeah, Propagandhi, the angry half of Lawrence Arms songs, the Broadways, all of it. Constantly running through my head. But here's the odd bit, I'm happier lately than before. I certainly don't get it. Not even a little bit. But I worry about the people around me...and I'm going to tell you why:Most of the time I kind of wonder if people are thinking objectively and critically around me. I know, I know there are supposed to be emotions involved in every day life. But what if I'm not emoting properly. "What if this crazy world thinks I'm the one who's crazy...I'm not crazy, just frustrated." I find myself, more often than not, making decisions about life from a more objective and less emotional standpoint. For example, when it comes to love and dating I tend to think about it in terms of: How will this person look in 20 years? What would our kids look like? And most importantly- Can I stand to hang out with this person for the rest of my life? While it seems to me that others are thinking about how "hott" said person is, and how badly they "want" them. I'm worried about being able to provide for another person, or several people. Maybe my heart is--like the grinch--several sizes too small.

I have recently established five categories that I think should be fulfilled on some level by a person that I would like to date. She should be 1. Funny, 2. Stylish, 3. Crass, 4. Intelligent, and 5. viewed by me as being cute. (By the by, being cute is way better than being hott. It's not my rule, look it up. The difference being that someone who is cute is not generally overly concerned with their looks, where a person who is hott generally only has that going for them. How rare is it that you find an out of hand "hott" girl that actually has something to say? It just doesn't happen. The end result is that, while the prospect of being with such a person is initially tantalizing, in the end they become boring and un-fun. And you have to deal with that, because you were hung up on looks, so there. I hope you have kids together.)

These five simple ideas are weird, no? Not weird in and of themselves, but weird in that I have met only a handful of women in my life--short though it has been, thus far--that have met all five of the categories. It gets a lad to thinking...Maybe the problem is with me? Am I too hard to please? Too picky? Is it irresponsible of me to want to be with someone who makes me laugh instead of just laughing at things I say?

These are the ponderences that have ruled my mind lately. Oh, that and I've started to re-read the first several "Get Your War On" cartoon strips and can't help but wonder how anyone can think that genocide is okay, even if it is in the name of "freedom". First of all, people should be on their own to better their situation. We, as a nation, are not fucking babysitters. It's like if your dad beats up the bully for you at school...everyone just makes more fun of you, and things are worse than before. So that sucks even worse. True revolution comes from within. Things won't get better for anyone unless they change it for themselves. Meanwhile I'm praying (read "hoping" because what is the point of praying? If god is omnipresent he/she/it will already know what I want.) that Iraq becomes a Theocracy and the Arab community goes on hating us for being intrusive dicks until they kill enough white people that Americans figure out that maybe they don't want us there. Right now we're pretty much sticking our hand into a bee hive to steal the honey and wondering why we keep getting stung. Rats with a feeder bar have a better learning curve than most Americans right now.

Okay, that's it. I've vented it. Although I still get sad every time I think about being silenced when I try to talk politics with my family. Blah. It's out there. Think about it. Make your own thoughts on it. Whoop (is it there?)

-A.R. Leith

Professional Mathletes

Okay, since there really aren't such things as pro mathletes (are there?), I cannot imagine why I called this that. So let's talk about something much more upsetting...

Professional Sports- I don't like it, and I'm going to tell you why:

First of all, I see a lot of time wasted by people following their "team". I'm going to let alone the obvious problem of people who refer to the teams in the plural inclusive. Like the kind of person would say "I'm glad WE got rid of Sosa, because he struck out too much." etc. That problem speaks for itself as having to do with those who watch, rather than do. No no, my more recent anger stems from the massive amount of money pro sports garners and then keeps all to itself.

So many athletes out there say they play for the love of the game, but do not let their paychecks reflect that. For example, the recent cancellation of the NHL season because the owners and players cannot come to a reasonable agreement on how many gazillion dollars they are each allowed to make in a season is so fucking weak it makes me sick. And so, for the betterment of sports...nay, all of society, I will here propose several changes that will bring back the purity and pride to professional sports and athletes.

1. None of this "trading" bullshit. An athlete who desires to play a sport professionally must play for the team that is located nearest the city he/she has spent the MAJORITY of their life living in. This will bring back some civic and regional pride in the athletes who represent us, and will eliminate a bunch of transient millionaires who go wherever they can get paid the most.

2. Oh yeah, getting paid. There will be an absolute salary cap on how much an athlete can make from playing games for a living...We're talking a maximum of like $200,000 a year. (This goes for coaches and managers too...as for owners, they won't exist. The team will belong to the city and they can fucking elect front office officials who can make no more than 200k a year. So there.) Ticket prices will remain ridiculously high, and any excess revenue will go into maintaining/refurbishing facilities and to the local schools or other worthy endeavors. This will keep people from getting greedy, and only people who really love the sports will get involved.

3. College athletic scholarships: Okay, I really have no problem with this, because it addresses the above problems. Someone who loves the games getting paid to do it, but getting paid with an education...so that works. Unless, of course, the athletes are getting special treatment in their studies and end up like the UWV athletes I saw on TV last night after their "big win" who weren't really winners at all because they couldn't put two coherent thoughts together. How can you get to be a senior in college and not be well spoken? The world and your educational institution have failed us both...I'm pissed about it, why aren't you? But yeah, otherwise teach the kids for free if they can play ball; that is more of a win win situation.

4. Any city that can field a team gets to play, end of story. We're going back to Little League on this one. But if you can come up with a full roster at the beginning of the season then you should be allowed to play. If you suck then you have incentive to get better. If your city rocks, then keep on keeping on...there will be nice trophies and ceremonies (maybe even a parade!) and the end of every season for your players. Hoorah!

5. Helmets are for pussies. At most pro athletes should be allowed to wear those little leather jobbies with no face mask that footballers used to sport. If you're not skilled enough not to get hit in the head then there is somebody in your home town who might be. Plus, if it turns out you can't dodge that curve ball you get all the goddamn pudding you can handle...forever. If you have questions about this, just look at boxers. They don't wear helmets and pretty much all they do is get hit in the head...and to them cartoons are still funny, so they pretty much rule.

6. Any activity where human power is not the primary mode of motivation is not a sport, PERIOD. NASCAR drivers are not "athletes" for the same reason I don't get a trophy for hopping in the Crown Vic and going to the corner store for milk faster than my neighbor. The car is doing all the work. For the same reasons cart golf is not a sport, while ballroom dancing probably is.

Okay, I think that's all for now. Sorry it's been so long between entries. That is, if you care at all. Don't be afraid to comment if you have something to say, or any questions. I like comments. Okay, I'm done. I need to go to bed. Got a big day tomorrow.

-A.R. Leith

Rando Quote of the day: "This is your life. It doesn't get any better than this. This is your life...and it's ending one minute at a time." -Chuck P.

So, it's March.

Yeah, this is pretty much the best month ever. It contains my two favorite holidays in the calendar year. St. Patrick's day, and my birthday. The advent of Marchi Gras was several years ago, and it celebrates the week of debauchery that is the time between my birthday and the most Irish of holidays. It's a good time, and I wish you all a good March. Now, on the the comments, questions, and complaints:

I went to a presentation put on by the "Master Plan Ministry" at the local college here the other night. The presentation was called, "Are you a Monkey" and had to do with the concept of "Intelligent Design"...essentially it was a bunch of scientists who got together to tear apart the evolutionary theory of Charles Darwin. That is all well and good. We are forever looking for new explanations for life and how we got here, what we're doing here, etc. HOWEVER, I think it is very important that you have actual new developments before you go to press with a glossy new DVD about your theories. What I'm saying is that I didn't learn anything I didn't already know about life from this presentation. Obviously there is some force in the universe that gives direction to cellular (not phone) development and creates varieties of life. The problem is--and always has been, as far as I'm concerned--that nobody knows what this is. Not one person has been able to realistically quantify this force and the reasons for its decisions. So I think the whole thing is fine to think about, but don't bother me with theories until you have something more concrete that what the force is NOT. That's all I have to say about that.

Other than that, all is well with the world, I think. So we'll talk more later. Okay? Okay.

-A.R. Leith

p.s.- I'm sorry this wasn't more profound or anything, but it's early, and my arm hurts.

p.p.s.- Justin, we need to talk.

There WILL be categories...

The other day I got to thinking about the world. Well, not really the world so much as the globe. We are on the surface of an orb, floating in a great fastness of space, right? Why is it, then, that we came to regard North as being "up" the way that we, you know, do? More specifically, why are globes always positioned with the northern hemisphere on the top?

These questions led me to another query...do we geographically view the world in the way that we do because most of the conquering societies in historical memory have been from the northern hemisphere? (Greek, Roman, Abassid, Turkish, Mongol, British, U.S., etc...today's empires, tomorrow's ashes.) Was it simply a matter of self importance and therefore convenience that the globe is viewed the way it is? Did it just make more sense to not have to lay on the floor to look at the world? I should probably ask a geographer.

So, what this all really leads to is the question of social reform in colonized societies. (A long hop skip and a jump, I know...) Currently we are doing a unit on a Maori (from New Zealand...or rather, OF New Zealand)--at least half Maori--writer in my Post-Colonial Lit class and it has me thinking about the way different people, cultures, and classes interact. The author, Alan Duff, seems to be of the opinion that a failure to succeed on the part of the Maori is caused by internalized hatred, racism, and futile thoughts. Which would mean that he advocates the "path of least resistance" or, in this case, simply to allow yourself, as a submissive culture, to be assimilated and co-opted by the dominant culture. I, on the other hand, see it less as a domineering attitude on the part of the colonizers (generally European, white, male, etc.) but rather a disinterest in other cultures--or possibly an intense interest, depending on your POV--and their histories that allows them [the conquerors] to go about their business with little or no remorse. And so, in order to proffer understanding, or at the very least MY understanding, here come the categories:

Sociopolitical Unwillingness to Compromise
There seems to be a desire of people from the northern climes to move their selves and their cultures to more hospitable locales. To that end colonials take the creature comforts of the lives to which they have been accustomed with them all over the world under the protection of their home governments. When they arrive in these more palatable places and begin to live life as they have always conducted themselves, creating conversations with the pre-existing inhabitants that probably went something like:

EURO: "This is a real nice place you've got here. Lots of natural resources and whatnot."
LOCAL: "Yes, we like it. It's home, anyways. Say, where are you from anyway?"
EURO: "Yeah, reeeal posh...and LUSH. Bet you can grow a lot of good sturdy crops with this soil; it looks quite fertile."
LOCAL: "Actually, we are quite agrarian, now that you mention it. But, is there something I could help you with? I notice you have an awful lot of luggage on your boats there."
EURO: "What's that?"
LOCAL: "I say, you have a good deal of baggage there."
EURO: "Oh, yes. Quite right! We're moving in...going to take up residence here."
LOCAL: "I'm sorry, it sounded like you said you were moving in."
EURO: "I did."
LOCAL: "And where were you planning on living?"
EURO: "Well, your house looked kind of tempting."
LOCAL: "You're saying you want to move in with my family?"
EURO: "I daresay not! I never did get on well with flatmates. You'll be moving out."
LOCAL: "But where will that leave us?"
EURO: "Hadn't given it much thought, actually. Somewhere on the periphery I suppose. No matter, you'll get by just fine I sus."
LOCAL: "What!? That hardly seems fai--"
EURO: "You didn't have any sort of pre-existing culture or history that is going to be upset by our moving in and taking over, did you?"
LOCAL: "Actually--"
EURO: "Good, because that would be inconvenient. Now, if you wouldn't mind, those ships are not going to unload themselves. I'll be playing cricket over on the lawn...ring me when tea is served."

Essentially the Europeans have found that their system of government and society works for them, so why shouldn't it work for everyone else? The natives will be allowed to keep all the culture they want, but if it is success that they are after they are going to have to become Europeanized and follow the rules laid out in some dreary London board room for social and business conduct. Is that so bad?

Can Culture be Maintained?
Personally, I think there is nothing wrong, or evil, about maintaining one's culture and heritage while still moving forward with social evolution. Which is to say, "Although I am just a big dumb whitey, I think that people's history is important, and can be maintained while allowing the individual to progress with a more modern (albeit westernized) model of success. This does not mean that I favor demeaning people in any way shape or form because of the past proclivities of their families. Rather, it means that everyone...EVERYONE...should be judged on their own individual merits, desires, achievements, and ambitions. ("I can take responsibility for what I've done, but not for who I am.") Sure, it may mean jumping through some hoops, and it might not even be morally correct, but it seems alright to me. But that is partially because I am an American. We don't really have a sense of heritage anymore and therefore view it as an anchor keeping people from the future and success, rather than something to be cherished or valued.

Screwing for Justice and Equality?
(Preface: this is only very tangentially attached to the above topics...) Is it wrong that I think very practically about reproduction? For example, I am a very pale, balding, big person. Now, I know there are people who say that you cannot control who you fall in love with, it could be anybody that is "the one". Aside from the fact that I don't believe that there is a "one" but many "possible ones" that time and circumstance could put you into contact with, affording you a bright and happy future; there is the option of pragmatism.

As a child I got sunburned like the dickens. (Not Charles, some other, less famous, Dickens) Would it then be wrong for me to seek out a mate with darker skin and features so that my children need not go through all of that aloe-vera? Or how about the fact that my hair is not much longer for this world? Would it be offensive to as a potential partner about her father's scalp condition. There are many haircuts that I would like to try, but alas, my hair has not been co-operative. Shouldn't my kids have options? That's all I'm saying...think about the future. For god's sake, will someone please think of the children!

-A.R. Leith

p.s.- Kids, stay off the drugs. They're not good for you, and they're a real drain on your bank account. Just some friendly advice from your Uncle A.

Iiiiii...Dunno.

Sorry to everyone about that other thing I wrote. Actually, sorry about all the things I have written. There seems to be something fundamentally wrong with me. Aside from the desire to make others think about their thoughts (Which, more often than not, makes me look like an angry dick (which I kind of am) and makes other people mad...I don't want people to be mad, I want people to be happy.) While we're on the subject of apology, I'm sorry about everything I did and didn't do for the last two weeks.

What does depression feel like?

Nothing is getting done. I'm not going anywhere, and all I ever want to do is sleep. Is that healthy? How do you spell mononucleosis? (WebMD wants to know)

The long and the short of it is that I feel like I've been awake for about a month now, even though I was only awake long enough to eat lunch before my first nap today. There is something seriously wrong here, and I don't know what it is. I want to be better, I want to be happy. Happy would be nice. I want to be loved for being chubby and fun. Where are all the girls with the love for the cuddly kid? I met one once...she broke my heart (Kind of...mostly she just dumped me, which is okay, because people shouldn't be together if one of them isn't really happy). Funny, that. It's always cold in the house now. Not like cold between me and the roommates, more like cold because the weather sucks and the heat is never on. But it's hot when I wake up. I don't like that. (I'm not even going to bother to tell you why.) I'm disappointed in Justin. Thanks for following through, Justin. Thanks for the warning. Money is a problem. When isn't money a problem. If you don't have it, you want it. If you have it, you want more. (The only bright point about this is the hobo that was on CSI yesterday. Maybe I should be a hobo. He found a wallet on a dead body and bought himself a suit with it. I'd like a new suit. Bums don't care about society that much. If it feels good it's okay. I want it to be okay to feel good.) There was once a band that said, "If they don't care, why should I care. But I say...If I don't care, why should anyone care?". I always liked that line. Finding someone to spoon with shouldn't be hard, but it is. Most people (women) assume that spooning will lead to sex. Not if I can help it. I think I'm scared of sex. It's kind of gross, all that sloppiness and possibility for unknowns. "Why would someone want to attach themselves to another person in that manner? There has got to be a better way to show you care. Like giving someone some flowers, or leaving them alone for a while." Sure, it feels good...for a little while. YOu know what feels better? That's right, having someone who is fun to hang out with all the time. I need more of those people. Is the future supposed to be terrifying? Because it kind of is. Very imposing. Why is it that all the Asian girls on campus wear scarves all the time? Was there a memo?

So, there all that is. It just kind of came out. If you read it, I hope you enjoyed it (You probably didn't). Yeah. I'll try not to get so personal anymore.

Weird.

Look at me, apologizing all over the place like I'm Canadian.

-A.R. Leith

Unconscionable Culpability

Because of recent events involving the people around me I want to get something off my chest. First and foremost there is the issue of the military involvement of "good" or ordinary people. It is my current opinion that no person can, with a clean conscious, voluntarily involve themselves with the military without first understanding what they are signing on for.

Now, this is not to say that if a person has rationally weighed the options about what they are doing and still decided that they want to join up that they are not entitled. The world goes round because different people have differing opinions, and that is fine. I understand that that is not going to change. What bothers me is the fact that so many people do not give a great deal of thought to what they are getting in to when they sign up for service in the military.

Right now I am going to make a few "blanket inflammatory statements" but bear with me. First, if you sign up to be in the military there is a good chance you will be shot at...and that you will be asked to shoot others. A failure to take that into consideration does not make you some sort of "angel with a dirty face", it makes you shortsighted. I recently suffered a berating because someone who claimed to disagree with some of the government's current military actions felt that they were still somehow innocent because they had been shot at. F that. If you did not know what the military was about there is no way you should have signed up. It is not my fault that this person made an uninformed decision. In signing up for the army, etc. you assume the risks involved, end of story.

Second, the risks are many and varied. The items you stand to lose by joining the military: Life, friends, morality, limbs, blood, sanity, etc. Anyone who voluntarily signs up for violent action where their input is neither direct or often heeded has lost moral credibility. For the most part the people in the military are just "doing what they are told." Which essentially means that they have sold their free will for a paycheck. Operating as little more than hired goons to support a system based on profit, not humanity is a choice that they willingly made.

That being said, there are people out there who made the decision based on economic need, to pay for college, or what have you. Hopefully the decision they made was informed, but I find it hard to have sympathy if it was not. I support the PEOPLE in the military in so much as I want them to be safe from harm...but to voluntarily put yourself in harm's way and then expect sympathy for it seems ludicrous to me. Stand up and be willing to accept the consequences of your actions, or act in a different way.

On the other side of this coin are the people who have decided that they are completely behind the government and are ultra gung-ho about their activities overseas. I would just ask them to keep in mind that the people on the other side of the firing line are just as passionate in their beliefs that they are right. Each thinks that they are fighting for freedom, while the other is the evil-doer. Violence creates a grey area that is inescapable and detrimental to almost everyone except those with the coldest of hearts. A little sympathy would go a long way these days.

Okay, sorry for the rant kids, maybe next time I'll be in a more cheery mood. To try and make up for it I'll whine about something else with a song quote about what's on my mind lately:
"What if she doesn't like me? What if I'm not her type? What if all the girls that ever like me are not the kind of girls that I like? What if I meet the right one and screw it up? Will I consider myself a failure, and just give up?" -The Plain White Ts

A.R. Leith

p.s.- The "R" stands for Aaaaarrrrrggghhh!

Is this really necessary?

Okay, I am going to try and keep this here post short and sweet (hopefully) because I've got a lot to do today. Errands must be run, naps must be taken, and I've got to go to new mexico today. Also, I am trying to resist the urge to talk about myself too much, as I think you already know too much about me thanks to this blog business, and I'm sure you don't want to hear me whine...about myself anyway.

On to the crux!!

What is the deal with these ads? I understand that pharmaceuticals are big business and there are a lot of Americans out there who may or may not need help. In order to make money you have to spend money, in this case on advertising. HOWEVER...and this is a big "however"...there are two ads that just should not be on television.

First, the attractive people telling me about their herpes simplex B or what have you? How much are they paying these actors to have the world suspect their sexual health. Nevermind the word on the street that something like 75% of Americans have some form of Herpes or another. (If you've ever had so much as a cold sore, you probably have herpes.) The fact is I do not need to hear about the problem in others. If people even so much as suspect that they have this little humdinger of a lingerer they should go immediately to their doctor and have it checked out. If that doesn't even occur to you I don't think an ad telling you about a treatment is going to make you want to get better.

The next set of ads--a constant source of mirth in my house when they come on--are those dealing with a "lack of bladder control*" (to put it delicately). I cannot fathom the person that hears the line "I can't believe I'm even talking about this, but, sometimes I don't make it to the bathroom on time." and says "ME TOO", like they haven't noticed the puddles around the house until this exact moment in time when the ad came on and they started to consider the notion that it might not "just be condensation". This seems like a problem I would have looked into long before there was an ad on TV. And yet, here I am, enjoying my lunch and listening to grown women (and yes, these ads do primarily feature women--possibly because of their strange opposition to peeing outdoors or in the kitchen sink.) tell me about having problems wetting themselves. The situation is palpably uncomfortable, to say the least.

Other Opinions on the Matter
Contrary to what you might have heard/assumed, I do sometimes listen to what other people are saying. Here are some examples:

Roomate M- Says that "trying to hold in urine for long periods in your youth can lead to lack of bladder control in your later years. So not only was that road trip across the U.S. that your folks took you on as a kid "informational" and "fun", but it was also potentially damaging to your urinary tract. So thank your father again for not pulling over when you 'had to go real bad'".

Roomate B- In a somewhat more cruel statement, says, "I'm going to have to do something about this before I get to pre-school."

I like both things, one because it furthered my knowledge (sort of) and the other because it was abjectly cruel and therefore made me laugh. It bears noting that I think it's fine to laugh at people if they are not around to hear you...and sometimes even if they are. The long and the short of it is that I do not want to hear about uncomfortable things about other people's biology on the television. If this sort of jellydicking continues I may be forced to create my own infomercial on "The Joy and Satisfaction of Lancing" in which I show people what sort of things they can lance on their own bodies in their own homes, and how. I hope to make gobs of money from this and buy a racing sloop and bring the cup back to America, where it belongs.

-A.R. Leith

(* This blog entry is not directed at anyone I know personally...and besides, being made to laugh so hard that you pee in your pants is nothing to be ashamed of. In some cultures it is the ultimate compliment to your host. So keep watching the History channel until you find out what those cultures are and you can silence your co-workers when they become derisive about the broadening damp spot in your trousers.)

p.s.- I may have made most (read "all") of the facts and figures contained in this post up, so don't bother checking.

Sorry, Mom...Sorry, God.

The title for this entry is for the last entry. I re-read it after having posted it and realized that there was some coarseness in it that might upset people like my mother. So, Mom, don't read the post below this one. And if you DO read it, don't say I didn't warn you. That being said it's time to move on to newer, fresher topics.

I kind of hate to be self-referential, but I have been thinking all afternoon about the post made earlier. (Okay, A: I don't really "hate" to refer to myself, I can just think of more interesting people to talk about. B: When talking about myself I am kind of uneasy, especially because sometimes...a lot of the time...people don't realize/think I am being honest and truthful. I usually am, because it is funnier.) I would now like to hedge my qualifications for everything written earlier today: I honestly have no idea where I get off trying to comment on how men think, or women think, and I certainly cannot be held accountable for my comments on where these two thinking groups meet.

I am essentially terminally single. I don't know why that is. I think I'm a real catch. Billy Burning says I'm the most eligible bachelor in Durango. My aforementioned mother would probably concur on my "catch" status, but she is bias. What it all boils down to is that I do not understand women even a little bit. I cannot read them, I get flustered around them, and sometimes I literally can't understand them...they tend to mumble and I think my hearing is going anyway. If I think a girl is cute and stylish I cannot function around her. It takes me 4-E-Ver to get up the nerve to even talk to them, and then there is the stage where my brain and mouth do not function properly together and communication is limited. (This is part of why I think proper introductions are important, because it takes away the initial pain of approaching a stranger.) I also feel silly just walking up and talking to women that I don't know and have no legitimate reason to be talking to. It just all seems so stilted and awkward. Basically I do not know what to do and am in dire straits when it comes to the ladies...I think I'm worth dating, but cannot get to that point to test out my theory. (My being picky doesn't help either--I'll probably die single and lonely.)

So, I've been working out. My new plan is to get very buff and make myself as attractive as possible to the fairer gender (fluffing my plumage, if you will...) so that I might be able, in the near future, to attract a mate. The trouble with the social awkwardness mentioned above is that I'm pretty fun to hang out with and all that, it's just that a lot of gals will never find that out because I'm quiet in a lot of social settings, and as my sister says, my "face is kind of scary and mean looking" when I'm just walking around pretty much thinking of nothing. So whatever, hopefully I will be able to sell a lot of tickets to the gun show and have a few nice dinners. Because so far I've not seriously dated any woman who did not approach my amorously first. So maybe I should just sack up and talk to them, and stop being such a snob about personality, right?

So to summarize, girls are terrifying; but that's probably my fault. I'm going to be jacked so that I will have the ability to lift all sorts of cumbersome objects above my head--possibly I may even progress to being able to heave them, only time will tell. And again, sorry mom, for all the mistakes and errors in judgment, past and future.

Goodnight Springton, there will be no encore!

-A.R. Leith

WTF!?

Okay, I know I promised I wouldn't do this anymore, but tough, you all have to read this...and ENJOY it. If I find out that you have not been enjoying it, there will be [ominous but non-specific] trouble.

I received this bit of gaffery from a young lady who shall remain nameless. I found it insulting, just a bit weird, and funny all at the same time. She asked me to respond to it personally, but I thought my responses and ideas to be so profound that everyone should read this business. My comments are the ones in parentheses. Enjoy:

What guys really mean when they say...
1. What he says: I love you> >What he means: Go down on me (Whatever, Ms. Garcia, I think you know my opinion on using the word "love", and if I want someone to go down on me I'll ask...or go down on her first, and hope she returns the favor...you scratch my back and all that.) 2. What he says: I need you> >What he means: My hand is tired (Depending on context the phrase "I need you" from me would mean "My hand is caught in the garbage disposal, please bring cooking oil." Or "I have a sickening pit in my stomach when you're not around."--depending on context.)
3. What he says: I’m sorry> >What he means: I’m not above begging for sex (I'm NOT above begging for sex, but it goes more like "C'mon, just tug on it a few times." I'm sorry means I did something stupid without thinking first, and you were right, god, stop bringing it up.)
4. What he says: You’re beautiful> >What he means: I’d do you (This one is absolutely true, but goes only so far as physical appearance. A lot of women are beautiful, just not on the inside.)
5. What he says: It’s a guy thing> >What he means: It’s not my fault (When a guy says this it probably means that "I don't really understand this myself, and therefore cannot explain it to you. I feel stupid about that.")
6. What he says: We need to talk> >What he means: I’m dumping you (Or...I failed a very important blood test. Either way it's not as pleasant as "I'd like to talk to you..and possibly tell you how much I like your new haircut and shoes.")
7. What he says: Let’s just be friends> >What he means: I want to sleep with your friends (This is not true, I probably don't even LIKE your friends. ha! This probably means I don't really like women, and would like to try some stuff out with Fred from accounting.)
8. What he says: It’s just not working out> >What he means: You’re not putting out (Or: "Stop talking to me so much. And why are you wearing my boxer shorts!?")
9. What he says: It’s not what you think> >What he means: It’s what you think (Did you surprise me in the living room with the vacuum cleaner and a bottle of lube? Then it's what you think, but a better statement would be "I know this looks bad, but I assure you...it's for science.")
10. What he says: What would you like to do> >What he means: Where would you like to do me (In this case I actually have a sever decision making disorder, so I probably want to leave the couch, but can't think of a good reason to.)
11. What he says: I like independent women> >What he means: That way I don’t have to spend the night after I do her (Or I just like intelligent women, which is better.)
12. What he says: What’s your sign/what’s your major/can I buy you a drink> >What he means: God I hope she swallows (Games are funny. Asking straight up to spoon is always the best policy. Kick her out of bed if she tries to push you into going farther than you want on the first date. Girls are so needy.)
13. What he says: That’s a nice dress/shirt/hair/eyes/shoes> >What he means: Nice breasts (It is becoming readily apparent that women don't think very highly of men, and I'm not saying that is unjustified, just that it's not fair. If women don't appreciate their bodies being appreciated they should wear baggy sweatsuits all the time. Otherwise just say thank you to a compliment and hope he likes you for more than whatever he complimented. If he doesn't then he's probably not a good guy to be dating. Too many women date shitty guys and I don't know why. Also, if I like your breasts I'll probably tell you that you have fabulous breasts, and ask to play with them a bit...you know, in a strictly platonic way.)
14. What he says: I like a woman with a sense of humor> >What he means: ...on her knees (Do guys really act like this? What are these accusations being based on? If a guy says this he either means "I like a girl who makes me laugh." or "I like a girl who laughs at my dumb jokes." One truly enjoys a woman with a sense of humor, the latter enjoys women who are dumb and think he's cute. werd.)
15. What he says: I won’t tell anyone> >What he means: Except all the guys I know (WTF, negative stereotypes are damaging and hurtful. And you should really only tell people in other states.)

Okay, that's all that I have time for right now. Plus I don't like to think...and that is all the questions on the GD email. Sometimes typing is tiresome, you know what I mean? (rhetorical) If anyone has any ideas about topics that they would like to know about...anything in the whole wide world, email me. This'll be fun. It's like a school assignment without the grades...or recognition.

-A.R. Leith

Not so sure...

I think maybe I should not be doing this blog thing. I was just cruising around some other blogs and started to worry. I don't mean to bag on anyone, but whathefuck.com!? There is a lot of artsy stuff, which is fine, this is an outlet, I understand that. But I think maybe there are people interested in driving the diary manufacturing industry out of business. What I saw was way too much way too personal information (including what appeared to be naked pictures of a girl who was WAAAAYYYY too underage to have pictures being taken of her while unclothed.) I used to say "pish posh" when people would say that the internet provides too much freedom to just about anyone. I don't have so much trouble understanding that statement anymore. This might be it for me kids.

A.R. Leith

p.s.- I'm not saying you shouldn't tell us about what you think, and what goes on in your life, but try to have a point and relate it to others and their lives...that way we can all enjoy it. Laters.

They're only famous...

...because you look at them.

Three sources have gone to informing what you are about to read. First, I watch a lot of TV--particularly MTV, because you have to stay on top of what the kids are up to these days (know your enemy and all that rubbish)--so I feel I have a pretty good grasp on who celebrities are. Second, last night I read a very funny article by Chris Nieratko over in the "Skinema" section at Viceland.com which is nearly always brilliant and so off topic it is amazing. Chris was talking about the frailty of ego which is commonly present in celebrities. I concurred. Third, I recently had to research a presentation on the ethics of medical testing on animals. The most depressing part of this research turned out to be the PeTA web site, where a bunch of overpaid crybabies were complaining about how cruel we are to animals. We'll tackle this in depth in a few minutes...or longer, depending on how fast you read.

Okay, first of all, I was watching the "newlyweds" show on the MTV yesterday, and it was great. You know, you get to see how the other half lives (and in this case "other half" refers to those who lead mundane and sterile lives). Ignoring the obvious problems of continuing to call the program "newlyweds" despite the episode in question being about the second anniversary of the LaCheys (sp?) there are other problems with while this show is on the air. Not the least notable of which is that there is not enough Ashlee Simpson on the show. (I swear, she's great as long as you don't let her talk or sing.) But how can America be fascinated with the lives of these here people. First off, I'm fairly certain that they are nearly illiterate...and if not they pretend really well on television. If watching people go through their daily routines (Newlyweds, The Osbornes, Growing up Gotti, etc.) is so interesting, where is my fantastically large check for having people watch me mess up life on a regular basis. I'm sure my trials, tribulations, and miscues with the fairer gender are worth a daytime Emmy at LEAST! Let alone the fact that I seem not to have a filter between my brain and mouth, which makes for some veeeery uncomfortable situations. So is the only thing that is separating me from these people, and leading a fabulous life the fact that I am less good looking and more articulate? It could be. Baybe it is because all the people on these shows have love interests, where I am hopelessly confused by women. Although I think the latter is more interesting, if more lonely and irritating for the sufferer...Me. But whatever, that's just problem one.

Problem two for our purposes is that of Celebrity Activists. First and foremost celebrities (for the most part) are overpaid--severely overpaid--for the services that they provide to society. This problem is compounded when they are unwilling to compromise their overall lifestyle for a cause that they claim to be so "in to". Second how do so many celebrities deem PeTA to be the most worthy group to back in the known world. Primarily their backing of this organization kind of makes them a traitor to their species by not thinking about all the dying children and other humans around the world. Okay, I understand that there have to be more ethical and humane options to testing cosmetics and other unnecessary products than to use animal testing, but the children are our future. When did a bunny ever grow up to support you while you were in the old age home? Reversing Evolution is not really the answer to making the world a better place. Mostly it just makes people with expendable incomes feel better about themselves. Speaking of expendable incomes how can famous people defend their lifestyles when thousands of people are starving in the same cities where these movie stars, athletes, etc. are living? My suggestion is to just ignore celebrities until they go away. If a person makes a movie that sucks, take them off the artistic role call. Don't support their efforts anymore. Hopefully they'll go broke, and then if they truly believe in their chosen issues they'll KEEP fighting for them. The same goes for "sports stars", if they really love the game they play, they'll play it for a nominal salary in the city where they grew up, for pride and a love of competition...otherwise they are just greedy transient millionaires who do not deserve our respect, let alone our adoration.

Finally, as Nieratko points out, celebrities need to toughen up. You cannot put yourself on a global stage only to cry "poor me" every time someone says something remotely emotionally damaging about you. I grant that celebs can fight with poparazzi if they so desire, but I also would not mind if it turned into a brawl and teeth were lost and bruises received on both sides of the lens. Grow up, and have the strength of convictions to be who you are, for better or for worse. As they say in Vice, sometimes the most attractive person is the one who is cute, and can walk into a room with peanut butter on his/her face and still give you a look that says "what? Dick!"...own up to your faults and flaws, accept them and move on. It will mean less tears in the long run. That's for everyone, not just "famous" people.

Thank you, and good night!

-A.R. Leith

p.s.- The Cubs traded Sosa and I'm glad. If they somehow figured out a way to trade someone for Harry Carey, that would be fine too. Things can get better every day.

p.p.s.- I also wanted to add a suggestion for another band worth hearing, and that is the Tossers, they're on thick records, and if you like Celtic rock, and angry political music, buy every one of their CDs. Woot.

Decorum

So today this kid shows up in class without any shoes on his feet. Health issues aside I think there is a problem here with decency and manners. (Not to mention that the very selfsame person was wearing his hat indoors...another issue entirely.) I'm not perfect. God knows I'm not perfect. But at least I make an effort. What happened to the world that everyone just does what "feels good" and not what is polite, decent, and mindful of other people?

First issue, being polite:
I try very hard to be polite whenever possible. (And if anyone who knows me and finds me being impolite, point it out..."I'll call you on your shit if you please call me on mine" -Propagandhi.) This covers the spectrum from even the most basic things like saying please and thank you to people when you want/receive something. That is just something you have to do, there are no if's, and's, or but's about it. Especially when the person who you are talking to is in the service industry. Don't take advantage of their civility or it may leave you with unidentified ingredients in your food. I once received an email from my mother that was a forward, which are silly by nature, but there was one lasting sentence in this whole electronic mail calling itself "the rules of life" that remains with me still--"If a person is nice to you, but mean to a waiter/waitress, they are not a nice person." But it should not stop there, open doors for others (not just women, but especially the elderly.) Don't wear hats indoors, men. Women, never admit to farting...Girls don't do that--I'm just kidding, women can do whatever they want...this IS the 90s after all. Just be nice to other people.

Second Issue, reflection/disturbing others:
Other people have eyes. Not just that they have noses, sensibilities and ideas about how the world should go. Unless you are an intentionally outstanding jackass you should be ever watchful of overstepping your social bounds when you enter into a situation. Every social situation has an acceptable set of behaviors that can land you in the good graces of anyone, if followed correctly. Basically if you are not able to behave yourself based on the norms of a situation you find yourself in you come across as ill-mannered, boorish, and--above all--selfish. Now, that is all well and good if that is how you want to put yourself out there for the world, but keep in mind that you are not only representing yourself, but also your family, your home town, and anyone else who had a hand in your upbringing. So yeah, you can go around thinking, it's okay if everyone in this room with me thinks that I'm a drunken lout, etc., but you have to remember that a good percentage of them are imagining you being brought up by yetis and shoving porridge down the front of your trousers while watching The Dukes of Hazzard reruns in a hovel somewhere. So do your folks proud and act like an adult, and know how to act out in public. Be cautious. "It is always better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." I think Twain said that, but don't quote me on that.

Final Issue, dressing yourselves:
Dress like a hobo if you want, that's fine, but don't be mad if you are treated like one. Especially if you stink.

-Andrew R. Leith

p.s.- For those of you who don't know me...or don't know me very well here are some bands that I like, and think you should too:
1. The Smoking Popes-mid nineties emo-ish rock that is mostly about girls (but really Jesus)
2. [early] Lawrence Arms-snotty angry social commentary or melancholy lamentations, depending on who's singing.
3. Alkaline Trio-so sad it hurts...but in a good way.
4. The Dillinger Four-angry sociopolitical rock that takes forever to understand (listen with the lyric sheets out) but once you do gee-whiz is it good stuff.
5. The Weakerthans-every time it reminds me of a laaaazy autumn afternoon...Delightful.
Okay, that's all. Type at you later!

Guilty...but why?

As men, what are we?

There are things in my head--questions mostly--that can barely bear examination. For example, why are we (meaning men...and not men in the sense of humanity, but men in the chromasomal sense) so freely and easily controlled by sex and sexuality? A broad (no pun intended) question, I know...but one that seems to need asking.

Sitting early yesterday morning in a large metropolitan airport I was once again faced with a burning question about the members of my gender when it comes to dealing with the opposite gender...nay anyone we find attractive to be more fair and correct; why are men so needy, lewd, and indiscreet? Oh, of course most men think they are being discreet, but no no there is hardly anything about our leering that would suggest discretion. Two examples from the morning of 13 January 2005 come as a blatant example of the bluntness and uncontrolable/seemingly incurable male behavior to which we are all prone.

First, while parusing the latest and lamentably last issue of Freeze Magazine--one who's passing will leave a void in the literary development of many skiers--while waiting for boarding to begin on my flight to Chicago from Albequerque I sat and watched as the crowd began to grow. Among that predominantly male growing crowd were four people I thought of note. Person number one was my dear dad, who is a good man, despite some of his faults. Persons number two and three were two men with unfortunate hair. One of these men looked to be in his 40s or 50s and was wearing what can be described as a "cosby sweater" and his companion was a twentysomething with a "George-Cloony-circa-E.R. era-roman-hairdo". The fourth and final member of the silent melodrama that I watched being acted out in the terminal this sunny morning was a shapely young woman who appeared as though she could have been anywhere from her mid twenties to mid thirties.

The action unfolded thusly: The young woman approached the gate as she walked down the terminal. I looked up from my ski-porn long enough to assess that yes, she was good looking, but I wanted to know more about the everyday life in Are, Sweeden, so it was back to the ski rag. All of the sudden my father uttered the tell-tale old man phrase of seeing something pleasing but probably unatainable and my attention was grabbed by the slightly lecherous "oh MY" that issued from his lips. (First of all there is something about that phrase when it comes from an older gentleman that has a sort of foppish quality to it, but we are not going to get into that today, other than to say that it often sounds like the "oh MY" should be followed by "what DOOO we have HERE!?" But that's just the way I feel about old men being creepy, and that's neither here nor there within this discussion.) Anyway, over the next three quarters of an hour I was intrigued not by the actions of the young woman in question, but by the actions of the other men around me.

Q-1: Do men really think that women cannot see them when they do the none-too-subtle "look over the shoulder as though taking in your surroundings but really just end up staring at a woman" maneuver?
A-1: I submit that, yes, a great many men fancy that they are quite the sly fox when busting out this move, when, in reality, even if the woman at whome their attentions are being directed does not catch their gaze there are other people around who see their actions and wonder why their gender is so creepy. Although guilty of the same activities now and again myself it seems all the more pathetic when you catch someone else in the act of sneaking a peek. If you find a woman attractive, talk to her. Chances are a lot of people are too scared to hit on her and it may be your lucky day and you'll find a special gal...(funny advice, I know because many of you who know me can attest that I am the last person to take action, even when intense attraction is involved, but it is SOUND advice, even if the author here is trying to live up to it himself.)

Q-2: What is up with men's fascination with sex?
A-2: Turns out that while sex is a lot of fun it's a very strange activity once you get down to brass tacks. If it was meant as something purely as a tool for reproduction why does it feel so good? Are the good sensations a necessary way for humanity to involuntarily bolster population levels? Truth is I don't know but next to making-out sex is about the weirdest thing normal people do. Everyone knows that sex sells, but why is that? How did so many men around the world get behind the idea that "If she'll just take her top off I'd be glad to give her a good portion of the money I have on my person right now?" The sex industry is a multi-million dollar a year moneymaker all because it has been proven time and time again that men will throw money at exposed body parts without any realistic hope of love or relationship. There is something about the hope that men get from naked women that buoys men's generosity and ultimately their wallets. It's mind boggling, really.

The second industry of this Thursday last is that a taller gentlemen who was standing to fiddle with his items in the overhead compartment allowed a flight attendant to pass him in the aisle, but then gave her the full body once-over with his eyes when she had passed. Supremely creepy, this move was noticable to everyone except those directly involved in the action. Somehow there is some cuircut in men's brains that makes it impossible to just allow any relatively young and fit woman to pass by without making her the source of scrutiny and/or fantasy.

Try as I might to rise above these problems I recognize that I am a member of the male gender in modern society and I will still foster urges that ought to be repressed to check out every woman that walks by. I don't want to be dirty and weird. In fact, I want to be able to base a woman's appeal on the things that come out of her mouth more than what she's wearing, but it's a long process of reprogramming my own mind, and I'm getting there--slowly but surely I am getting there--and someday it will be all about personality and all anyone will have to look for in the opposite gender is someone who it is fun to spend time with and everything else means fuck-all. If we all keep looking we'll find that special man, woman, someone special that we all would like in our lives without becoming a spectacle of unwitting embarrassment to those around us in society. Because, that someone is out there, we just need to hope to find them before it's too late.

-A.R. Leith

p.s.- If you're bored and online check out www.viceland.com and www.mnftiu.cc That's all for now and I'll try and make things more interesting and updates more frequently in the future.

Confusion, it would seem.

Right-o, it would appear that there was some confusion over the contents of the gibberish that I typed down yesterday, so this little bit is just to clarify before I sleep:

The crux of the update of 4 Jan. 2005 was that there are a lot of people out there who talk just to be talking to people, and that's not all that rad. Now it is understandable just to pass the time with your friends by chatting idly about whatever, but it is quite another thing to come at a stranger with a subject matter that is superficial and nobody should really care about. I don't know, maybe I'm just bitter, but whatever.

The point is, "Shut your mouth and open your eyes". There is a whole big world around us every day and a lot of people are so busy talking about useless crap that many a wonderful thing just passes us by. For me it goes back to my feeling about being in school...it is hard to learn with your mouth open. Take in the world around you and talk about those things that really matter to you and others. I think it makes for a better connection with the people in your life, and it definitely makes for better conversations.

Alright, that's enough for now. More later...if you're lucky. Ha!

-A. Leith

Commas and Ellipsis...

An excellent point was made today in a movie I was watching (Garden State, if you haven't seen it, you should.) that there are no real beginnings or endings in life...that is until the very end where there is an ending, but nobody is really sure about that one yet. Put into punctuational terms the theory is that no matter what happens until the big final "?" there are only commas and ellipsis in our lives that are bridges to other eras in our time here on earth. A very interesting idea to ponder. Especially since I am generally of the belief that life might just be a series of disappointments. But is it really, or are people--me in particular--looking at the wrong part of their situation. Of course there has always been the phrase "When one door closes, another door opens", but that's bollocks and so cliche that it kind of hurts my head a little bit. The truth, however, is that there is a lot of opportunity to be had in everyday life if you just have the proper perspective on things. Paying close attention, like close listening or reading, often produces some of the most staggering possibilities where there once were none.

Without the lows in life could we really enjoy the highs? Having often been told that the music I listen to is "depressing" and "too angry" I cannot be bothered because to me the music is hopeful in that there is always the underlying opposite amplitude of the wave that is implied but not expressed by many singer/songwriters. So yeah, I listen to whiny emo rock sometimes, because the implication is that before the times being whined about there were good times and smiles and something that felt so good that it couldn't possibly end...but it did end, and when it ended it hurt all the more. So the downs correspond to the ups. That IS life, and that is what makes life good.

Okay, I know this entry is getting clogged up with quotes (especially since I have just recently been accused of singing to myself too much) but the next two are from the same band and just might be pertinent to the topic at hand: The dillinger 4, a lovely little rock outfit out of Minnesota with a lot of sage advice/thoughts on the world around have quipped "thousands of us dead today, thousands went unfed today, and all we talk about's the fucking weather." and they also asked us to take head of windy city author Nelson Algren and "celebrate the ugly things." I would like to ask everyone who reads this, and I know it might not ever be many, but take time out of your day to think about both of those statements. First, take notice of the content of your everyday conversations, does it really ever mean anything, does it get us anywhere, or does it just distract us from the ills of the world. Second, having looked at what we talk about and why can't we then find the beauty in all the things that we have not been talking about all this while. Not so much beauty in the sense that it is right or good, but beauty in the sense that it gives us understanding of the world and, more importantly, the people around us. Can we really understand the pain and joy of the world if we consistently ignore it because it would disrupt our bubble?

Since we're already here and busy doing it just two more quotes before I'm done and sleeping:
"Is it really worth talking when everything goes left unsaid?" -The Lawrence Arms
"Do we ever take the time to really discover how little we know about each other?" -Less Than Jake

-A. Leith

p.s.- check out Timberlake's page at www.larakin.blogspot.com he has lots of pictures and such, where I have none. I'm not good with pictures.

Mistakes Are Just Fine...

...Just don't make excuses.

Here's a thought; having recently had an altercation with a member of the local ski patrol I came to a realization. Nobody wants to hear excuses. Bitterly angry and bickering it struck me that the man in the red jacket before me did not care to hear WHY I had done what I had done, whether from ignorance or malice (It was from ignorance I assure you, dear reader. But, more on that later.), he was merely concerned with my immediate and ongoing cessation of said action.

There is something pure and wholesome about that desire. Personally, when something goes wrong I do not want to hear a litany of events and causes leading up to what went wrong, all I want to hear is a little remorse for the mistake and a genuine promise to not allow any recurrences of the problem. I think that is fair and just--not to mention a big time saver. Armed with that knowledge I want everyone to go out into the world and treat others as they would like to be treated. Everyone makes mistakes. Some are bigger than others, but they still happen. Be understanding. That cannot be too much to ask.

As for the above mention of ignorance-
While often bandied about as some sort of insult meant to make others feel intellectually inferior being ignorant is a horse of a different color. Stupidity is the result of having been educated and then having forgotten. On the other hand being ignorant is the state of never having known, which is a much more excusable offence. As this relates to my day on the slopes yesterday, obviously I have not been keeping abreast of the slow zones on my home mountain as they are multiplying like bunnies in the spring--or third grade math students, you choose whichever analogy you are more comfortable with--but the run that had been designated as "slow" was not in any way marked on the actual mountain. I was incredulous. I was lectured. I was made an example of. And finally, I was let go unscathed, but miffed. Miffed, because I am not a mind reader (also evidently not a trail map reader...) and did not know, somehow without being told, that I was in a slow zone and therefore expected to--get this--SLOW DOWN. I am over it now and have debated sociology, physics, and anatomy over a nice dinner at my father's house, but it did bring something odd to mind...

Awhile back I was watching the MTV and saw a gripping documentary on Brittany...britteny, britny, britain...whatever, that Spears girl. The film crew was following her through the rigors of her latest tour at the time, and let me tell you I was exhausted just watching it all. However, that is beside the point. The point is that young BS was defending her [presumably] friend Jessica Simpson's antics on the television by pointing out that if she was never told about the things in life that she is confused about--which seems to be just about everything at this point...why in one episode she was eating something that she thought to be chicken when in all reality it turned out to be a 1/4 scale model of the Edmund Fitzgerald--how could she be expected to know the difference. Although I have watched this "Newlyweds" program on several occasions and have yet to see any proudly displayed doctorate certificates the point being made is valid. Without prior knowledge how can she be expected to use sound judgment. After all it is fairly easy to confuse a tragically-lost-Great-Lakes-freighter for a bit of shredded chicken. We've all done it. They're both fairly nautical, right? All's I'm saying is that maybe we should be looking more at her father for the reason she's not so bright. The old "keep your attractive and somewhat talented young daughters dumb so you can manage them and live off of them forever" ploy. Seen it a thousand times and it never gets easier to take, let me tell you. Tragic.

So two lessons should be learned here today. 1: If it is your fault, cop to it. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that, I'll try not to let it happen again." Should suffice. If that doesn't cover it try throwing kitty litter in your assailant's face and fleeing through the nearby shrubs. That should work, because there are always kitty litter and shrubs near by...just keep an eye out. 2: Do not confuse ignorance for stupidity. You should gently inform/educate the ignorant, giving them the tools they will need to succeed in later life. You may soundly rap the stupid on the forehead with a framing hammer; they'll thank you for it later [if they get the chance].

Okay. Good talk. Read...BREAK!

High-Fives Are Out

Okay, this issue is almost the dead horse of the year, but everyone seems to want to keep fighting for the life of the barbaric ritual known as a high-five. There are numerous reasons that this activity should be curtailed immediately. First, it is silly. Nobody ever, EVER, looks cool (see also--"hip" "rad" "hott" "neat") when giving a high five. Near as I can tell it is something for drunk dudes to do when they want to show friendship without any of the mess of being possibly somehow in a round about way perceived as being desirous of one another. Which brings us to reason two to knock-it-off; association with meatheads. The high-five is so tough-guy-nineteen-eighty-five that it hurts. The only time when a H-F might not make you look like a total meathead is if there is a little jump involved AND both parties completely miss. Then it is kind of funny, and maybe cute in a corny way, but that is the only time. Finally the main reason that the high-five should garner immediate disfavor for participants is that it is over used, played out, far too common. Honestly, it has gotten to the point where people will give eachother the ol' high-five for just about anything. "Hey, you didn't wet your pants today, buddy, good job...how's about a high-five!?" or "Yeah, this pornographic moving picture that I have procured from my father's 'secret' collection is so awesome I'm going to watch it with my male friends, with no women within 3000 yards of us! Where's that five? Up high? You got it!!!" So, basically, the rule on this--as it should be on almost everything in life--is that if you can not imagine someone you want to be (really want to be, like a "role model", not kind of want to be like a celebrity who can get away with being a bonehead just because they are overpaid talking heads with a tan, you know?) doing said activity, then maybe you shouldn't be doing it either.

Another blight on society is the constant complaining by people with access to the internet without the offering of helpful solutions or alternatives. So here are a few of those:
Remember, High-Fives, BAD
Repeated Euro Kisses on the Cheeks, good
Hugs, good
Leaving Someone Alone for a While, good
Side Fives, 'til spring '05 tops
Plutonic Mouth Kissing, good
Random Slow Dance, good
Do-si-do, so rural-retro it can't be bad
Handshake, classic/classy
Longing Glances, better than average
Meaningful Double Hug, awesome
Knowing Glance w/Smile, exceptional
Wink AND Pistol Finger, great...but only when together, never separately.

Aaaaanyway, that is all there is to be said about the subject of high-fives for now. You may still do them if you so desire, but do not get all huffy if someone declines with a look of terror and a shake of the head, they have just moved on, and with their help you too may move on. Try something new and different, watch out for ruts. And come back later for a look at celebrities. Because they deserve it.

-A. R. Leith

spring break 2005; pants party woooo!!!

My friend mike just asked the definition of perverbial...which I assume is something referred to by perverts. Anb that's fine, because without those people the van-with-tinted-windows-and-a-bed in-the-back market would competely go into the toilet, and THAT would not be good for the economy. These people are similar to college kids in that they spend money when they ought not simply because they cannot help themselves. The economy in our modern day is largely based on the people that just cannot help but spend their money, even though it might not be the best decision that they could make. Which is good.

Okay, this IS the first blog (or whatever the kids are going to call this by the time tomorrow comes--speaking of which, there is a poigniant song lyric that has been haunting me lately that goes, "When tomorrow comes where will yesterday be?" I say haunts me, because it is a very good question; what is the point in bothering today becaue tomorrow our efforts might be moot...that is if tomorrow ever gets here. But I digress.) Aaaanyway, I'm writing this on a laptop, and I hate laptops, not because of the potential impotency, because that might be a welcome change from the junior high-esque state of my current crotchal affairs of getting a boner every two hours like clockwork, but because they are just uncomfortable for me to type on, so I promise to write more here when I have a proper keyboard in front of me, so please come back and we'll have good times together.

A. R. Leith